The Rabbit
by MyNameIsSomething
Summary: What would happen if Maximum Ride met Twilight? And others will be included...   Contains violence, very random and it's rated T people!
1. Chapter 1

**WHAT WOULD HAPPEN... IF SOMETHING HAPPENED? I DON'T KNOW**

On one normal day ( July 24 , 2011), in a normal place ( somewhere in the forests, of New Jersey), in perfectly normal weather for December, ( warm sunny day, 95 degrees), Max was flying with her flock- besides that idiot Dylan who was only following them because he has NO LIFE- trying to find a. Nice. Fat. Juicy. Rabbit to eat. Fang's idea. When all of a sudden Angel tucks her wings in and falls to the ground, but landing unharmed. The rest of the flock followed.

" OH. MY. GOSH. Angel are you okay, girlfriend?" said Dylan- as if he cared. Scoff

" Shut it, gay wad." Angel replied harshly. You go, girlfriend!

" Angel is something wrong?" Fang asked concerned. Now, HE cared.

" Max... someone... a mind reader... is in there." Angel pointed at the woods in front of them.

" Forget that crap! I see a rabbit!" Iggy burst out.

" WAIT! I thought you were BLIND!" Nudge exploded.

" Uh ... I ... um." Iggy stalled by taking out a TWIX bar, need a moment? Chew it over with TWIX.

" And you had food all along!" Max roared. Iggy was so screwed. Yet lucky.

Because just when Max was about to murder Iggy, Fang yelled, " Someone is taking our rabbit!"

" NO! MY FOOD!" Gazzy raced after it. The flock was right behined him, because honestly they were all starving.

The trip didn't take them far, the only thing keeping them from their meal were some overgrown bushes. When the flock pushed past them, they stopped dead in their tracks. In front of them was a really pale dude, sucking the blood out of their food.

" WHAT THE FU-" Angel was cut off because Total put a paw over her mouth.

" Who the HECK are you!" Max yelled. The guy stood up, dropped the rabbit and before he could say anything, Dylan said, " WOAH! You're Edward Cullen, that guy from _Twilight_. The vampire." Edward smiled and nodded.

" Wow! You sparkle in the sunlight! It's sooo stupid!" Edward immidietly sent Dlyan the death glare.

" What did you say? Punk?"

" I meant... special." Dylan squeaked. What a loser. Edward shook his fist at Dylan. Then, he looked puzzled.

" Why are you singing, " We Did It", by Dora in your head?" Edward looked at Iggy.

Iggy looked embarrasssed. " No, I'm not! "

Angel looked suprised. " It's true. Iggy was. You're the mind reader." The flock just stared.

All of a sudden two kids came out into the clearing. A boy and a girl.

" Quit pushing, Dan." The girl said frustrated. She looked about 14 or 15.

" Don't be such a baby, Amy." The boy retorted. He looked younger. Maybe 12. " Cool! The last clue is a dead rabbit!" Dan said happily, pointing at the rabbit. " We have found the 39 clues!"

" Thank you, for that last clue, idiot." said a British accent. Everyone turned to see a boy about Amy's age, and a girl about Dan's age. They seemed to be siblings. Like Dan and Amy.

" Yes, idiot." The girl said.

" Shut your pie hole, Natalie." The boy said coldly.

" Yes, Ian." Natalie hung her head.

" Well, we must get going to claim our prize. Ta, Ta, losers." Then as Ian and Natalie turned to leave, Dan roared, " Never!" And threw a steak knife at Ian.

" Ahh!" Ian screamed in pain.

Before Natalie could get away, someone sprung down from a tree, with a bow and arrow and shot Natalie, then dissapeared back up.

WTF?

Suddenly, a teenager who looked over 15 but younger than 19, came out of nowhere, while Natalie and Ian died, and watched. Then only Ian came back to life- as a zombie.

" What... am... I?" Ian croaked.

" You're one of us now, kid." The teen told Ian.

" It's going to be great. Life sucks anyway. I'm Adam. I'm dead. Got shot." Ian was about to say something more, when more pale people came.

And of course, the little punk here, Dylan recononized them instantly.

" You're Alice, Jasper, Emmet, Rosalie, Carlisle, Esme, Jacob, Renesmee, and... The Thing- Isabella _SWAN_. That's right you're not a Cullen. You're an animal. Edward's mine. Be-otch." Dylan sneered at Bella.

" Gay wad. " Angel murmered.

" What did you say? _Be-otch_." Bella shot back.

" You heard me. What you're deaf _and _you can't have a normal child?" Dylan pointed at Renesmee who looked like she was lost in her own little world, swaying back in forth and looking at the bloody dead rabbit and whispering "pretty".

" Now you crossed the line, you little a- hole." Renesmee said looking coldly at Dylan. " Pointing is _rude_." Then, she grabbed his finger and mangled it.

" AAAHH" Dylan sobbed in pain. Max elbowed him so he would shut up. And he cried. Like a baby.

" Edward, who are all of these people?" Alice asked.

" Well Alice, I'm not sure sure if you can call them " people" exactly. Edward answered.

" That is so very...true." Iggy concluded.

" HEY!" Everyone opposed, but then thought better of it, and muttered

" true" in agreement.

"Crap! We're too late! They drained the rabbit! " Firestar said. " Oh well, Let's go gang."

" Did we just see a talking cat?" Jacob asked. Everyone laughed and said things like " No", " Nah", " Couldn't be", or " YES, I SAW IT!", in Bella's case.

Then the rabbit started to GLOW! And it slowly hovered just above Dylan. " You have disgraced me." The rabbit looked at Dylan. " You have sucked all of my freaking blood out. I mean seriously. WTH? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? Sucking the blood out of animals. Disgusting."

Edward made a face at the rabbit, and whispered, " racist."

" But, I didn't do it!" Dylan said. " Tell him Eddiekins!"

" He did it." Edward said pointing at him.

Then the rabbit slapped Dylan with it's hind legs and before anyone could do anything, Max snatched the bloodless, but still meat- filled rabbit and fled, but pushed Dylan back down.

" Hey," Dan said. " I'm hungry. Let's eat him." Everyone agreed, especially the vampires.

" Aliens! Bomb' em!" Daniel X yelled.

" This if for the poor bunny!" Emma screamed, then she bombed everyone, but the explosion was so strong that she also died.

Everyone died except, Max, Fang, Iggy, Nudge, Gazzy, Angel, Total, and the the talking cats, because they left.

And that person who shot Natalie.

**THE END!**

**Okay guys, that was my first fan-fic! Hope you enjoyed it! I bet you can't guess who that tree climber was! Hint, Hint, bow and arrows. Anyway! You can expect another chapter in this story soon ! XD**


	2. Dylan

**Okay here's a small chapter about a character that I know most people hate! **

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING. I SWEAR ON BOB'S GRAVE.**

**Everyone in the world is different. That's what makes us unique. But some people are just MESSED UP.**

Finally! Dylan was alone, away from those psychopaths who dare call themselves poeple. The Flock. Except Max. No, she wasn't a weirdo to him. Which is why he was in her house. In her room. Looking at himself in her mirror. Like the stalker he was.

" Ah... smooth as a baby's bottom." Dylan sighed as he touched his cheek with his hand.

Then, without warning, Fang came down from the ceiling with a sniper and shot Dylan in the head.

While Greenday was singing ,Jesus Of Suburbia, behined him.

**Okay, that was REALLY short. But do not worry my readers. My new chapter will be up maybe later TODAY or tomorrow!**

**Peace Out- Someone xD**


	3. The Hit 'n' Run

**OKAY! Before I start, I want to give a shout out to my FIRST REVIEWER EVER! ****I-sold-my-soul-for-a-cookie****, you're awsome like that! You are officialy special now. YAY! I know it's been a while but here you go. I know , I'm sorry, it called LOTS OF FRIGGIN' HOMEWORK. And science fair stuff. And teen stress. Okay, now back to the story...**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN CRAP.**

**POP!...goes the weasel. Interesting.**

One night- after a wild party- Snow White was drunkenly driving home. You know, the usual. Though, Grumpy was being a pain in the butt, so she stuffed his fat a** in the trunk. Heh. But on this night- December 24, 2009- Snow White had a different plan in mind, than to just drive home, and whine about how her boyfriend dumped her, and how she had to live with migits. 7 migits. She had just spotted- The One and Only- Santa Claus! He was in a crappy looking car, waiting on a red light.

_Oh yeaaah!_, thought Snow took another swing of whisky, and prepared for the Christmas of the decade.

**THE NEXT DAY**

" Yay!" squealed Emmet as he got out of bed and ran toward his living room.

" Hooray! It's Christmas day!" Yelled Emmet's brother Jasper.

" Ah, yes. The opening of gifts has arrived." Alice said in an impassive voice.

" Okay kids, careful going down the steps!." Esme warned.

_Too late._

Emmet had tumbled down the stairs and had broken his arm.** (A/N: HA! They can't sue me if I break someone's arm in a STORY! I know. I'm pathetic :) **

The weird thing was that he did not cry. Not one tear. Nope. He laughed this really disturbing girly laugh, while saying, " Ahh, that felt gooood."

Emo.

Emmet continued to run while thinking, _' I want a can of beer for Christmas, it tastes good.'_

Jasper thought. _' Hmm... a sniper would surely get rid of Matthew.'_

Esme thought, _' Johnny Depp wouldn't be a bad gift.'_

Alice had thoughts of suicide. As usual.

But, just as everyone reached the Christmas tree, Emmet fell on the floor. He dropped dead. Never to return. Gone. Forever. Bye.

Because there were NO presents under the Christmas tree

" Nooo!" Roared Rosalie, in a slow motion deep voice. Esme cried in that way that all mom's cry.

Alice cursed. She had actually hoped for a gun. Another gun. Now, she didn't believe in _Santa Clause_, but she believed in the Murder Man. It is said that whoever can kill more than 50 people in a year, the Murder Man will give you precious weapons on Christmas Day. " It's not fair! I killed 547 people..." Alice muttered. Then she pulled out a gun and pointed it to her skull. But then though better of it, and just shot John, in the head.

" 548." She said. All of a sudden the tv went on by itself. Creepy...

A female reporter flashed across the tv. " In other news, here we are at the,_ Were You Go When You Get Hurt, _hospital in someplace in the world. Where just last night, Santa Clause was delivering gifts when-"

" OH. MY. GOSH." Suddenly Edward had invaded the camera.

" Okay, listen up people! There's a mad woman on the loose! Hide your kids! Hide your wife! And hide your husband, 'cause Bella's killing everybody out here! You too Jacob! You better run you mother-"

" Ahh! OMG. It's EDWARD CULLEN!" squealing fan girls drove out toward him.

" WTF!"... Edward ran away. Then Bella slaughtered the girls.

Then, of course, the Flock spotted the news reporter.

" Anyway, as I was saying, Santa Clau-" The reporter had started saying.

" WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE! 2012 IS COMING!...SOON ON DVD." Iggy chuckled at Gazzy's immature comment.

" You know what? I QUIT!" The reporter stomped out of view.

" Yes. She was very frustrated." Fang said impassively.

" I'll kill you all." Angel said in a matter-oh-factly voice.

" I'm blind. " Iggy said. Liar... **( I love Iggy! He's my favorite! :) )**

" My name is Nudge..." I guess you know who said that. That's right! Max did!

" Umm... no Max, MY name is Nudge."

" Oh...yeah. That's right." Max said. Then she started to murmer the KFC motto. " So g- double o- g- good."

Then Angel told the camera person of how Snow White purposely hit Santa Claus's car and fled. So, Santa Clause could

Back at the Cullen house, Emmet's father had just hidden his wife and kids. And himself because Bella was killing like heck.

Edward was with them too. And the rest of the Culllen family. Weenies.

Later on, Bella got arrested and now is being held in a heavy gaurded prison with ONLY human food. And she can't escape the prison, even though she's really strong because she's stupid.

**I know, I know. This wasn't my BEST. It was my version of why I didn't get any gifts last year for Christmas. Why murder man, WHY? Yeah I know... there wasn't much Twilight/ MaximumRide connection. But do not worry my awsome readers. In the next chapter or maybe new story... Maximum Ride will meet Twilight.. and things will happen. Hopefully soon. Probably around next week. I'll keep you updated. ;)**


	4. They Know Part 1

**Hooray! New chapter! I am soooo sorry I haven't updated in like FOREVER. But I've been having this HORRIBLE writer's block! GAH! And I just read a sneak peak of Angel- the new Maximum Ride book. Let me just say one thing - I FREAKING HATE DYLAN EVEN MORE NOW. And for all of you people out thre saying, 'oh Dylan's not so bad.', well once upon a time I thought that too. NOT ANYMORE! !:O Sorry about my little tantrum...**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN MAXIMUM RIDE OR TWILIGHT. I HAVE NO LIFE.**

**LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS. IT'S ABOUT LEARNING TO DANCE IN THE RAIN. AND THEN GETTING ELECTROCUTED.**

" Yo! Angel!" Iggy shouted once again.

" What do you want this time, Iggy?" Angel said in an exasperated tone.

" That's SIR, Angel." Iggy pointed a knife at her. " Do I really have to punish you again, because I assure you, the hospital will not be able to stich your little neck back up again."

"Fine. SIR."

"Better. Now, go eat an elephant for my entertainment."

_I'm going to cut your head off Iggy, then I'm going to take your brains out, and every other vein I find, I'm going to get rid of all of the blood in your head, take your eyeballs out, and finally, I will put a small flashlight in your skull and use your head as a jack-o-lantern for Halloween, _Thought Angel.

" I don't see you straining to swallow an elephant yet." Iggy said impatiently.

" You're blind. You can't see, Iggy." Angel smirked. "Or have you been _lying_?"

"Uh...right." Iggy stuttered.

Angel rolled her eyes. " Whatever. I am NOT eating an elephant. That would make me, like, fat."

" Give me a glass of soda, then. On second thought, bring me a whole soda bottle. Coca cola. _Not PEPSI._"

Angel snorted. "Like you would be able to tell the difference."

Iggy held up a gun. " What did you say?"

" Nothing." Angel said quickly.

" GO." Iggy demanded.

Angel glared at him and then went into the kitchen to grab a soda bottle.

_**Meanwhile at the Cullen house.**_

"EDWARD!" Alice screamed at the VERY top of her lungs.

" WHAT? Alice what's wrong?" Edward came rushing down the stairs. Again.

"I need a refill of orange juice." Alice whined.

" I still don't know why you're drinking human food." Edward replied.

" Shut up and do it." Alice seethed.

Edward glared at her, but went to fetch her some orange juice.

" There." He shoved the orange juice into her waiting hand.

Alice drank a bit, and then spit it back out. All over Cullen's face.

"This is _NOT _pulp free orange juice!" Alice screeched.

" Oh, well maybe, YOU SHOULD'VE TOLD ME YOU WANTED PULP FREE!" Edward yelled back.

Alice then proceded to rip Edward's arm off.

" AAAAAHHHH! WHAT THE HECK! UGHAAH!" Edward shrieked. In a _very_ feminine pitch.

" I want orange juice." Alice said.

_**Back at the Ride house**_

Angel was walking back to the living room with Iggy's soda. PEPSI. When Nudge suddenly called out, " Angel!"

Angel ditched the soda. " Coming Nudge!" She called out.

"Yes?" Angel said when she got to Nudge's room.

" Have you seen my nail polish?"

"No." Angel said.

" Could you go look for it?"

" Can't you?" Angel retorted.

" No, I would waste my time. I'm older than you, so I can boss you around. So go. NOW." Nudge rolled her eyes.

" Fine." Angel sighed. _One day I'll kill you all. _She thought.

_**Cullen land**_

As Edward went back to the kitchen to get Alice a PULP FREE glass of orange juice, Rosalie shouted, "Edwaaard!"

Edward ignored it.

"EDWARD, EDWARD, EDWARD!" Rosalie kept screaming. SHUT UP.

Finally after about two seconds, Edward had enough. He fled up to Rosalie's room with a bazooka.

" WHAT DO YOU WANT!" He roared.

" I want you to play dollies with me." Rosalie said, holding up some barbie dolls. Twilight barbie dolls.

Edward just stared at her like she was completely insane. "Where in the heck did you get that Edward barbie doll?" He said slowly.

"Walmart." Rosalie said casually.

" You do realize if I play dollies with you, I'm going to have to kill you afterwards right?" Edward questioned.

"Yeah." Rosalie said in a 'duh' tone.

"Okay then." Edward said.

" EDWARD! MY ORANGE JUICE!" Alice screeched from the living room.

"Crap."

_**They don'y pay me enough to do this**_

Angel was just about to go get Iggy's soda, and try to find Nudge's nail polish when another, " ANGEL!" shook the house. Gazzy.

Angel grabbed a pillow and screamed as loud and hard as she could into it. That's better.

Then she went to check on Gazzy.

"What?" She asked him when she got to his room.

"Play Grand Theft Auto with me!" Gazzy demanded.

That's it.

Angel shot him in the skull. _Now, I have to hide the evidence, _Angel thought.

Then Fang yelled, "Yo! Angel!"

Angel pointed the gun toward her head.

_**Well you know**_

"Coming Alice!" Edward dashed out of Rosalie's room and headed for the kitchen to get that stupid orange juice. And then ran to Alice's room with the orange juice. " Here you go." He tossed the cup toward her. And she missed. On purpose.

"Whoops." Alice chuckled. "Clean it up Edward. Or do you want Esme to kill you? You know that she built this house and hand made the carpets. It took her five years to finish them."

Suddenly Esme was in the room with them. "You heard Alice. Edward, clean this mess up or I'll rip your leg off and give it to Jacob as a throphy."

Edward read her mind. She wasn't bluffing.

"Yes, Esme." He hung his head in shame.

He grabbed some cleaning supplies and started to clean.

Then Emmet's unmistakenly booming voice called out, " EDWARD!"

_**Angel's frustration**_

After a second of hesitation Angel decided not to commit suicide. She cursed her life and then went to go see what Fang wanted. What could Fang want?

Angel entered Fang's room quickly. "What is it Fang?"

Fang looked up from the book he was reading - _How To Kill The Members Of Your Flock by : Maximum Ride *cough* I mean Rode, Maximum Rode. Yeah, that's what I meant. _

"Angel remember last week when I read you that poem I wrote? The one that you said was 'epic'?

Angel nodded. She remembered every word.

_A Poem By Fang_

_'Roses are red,_

_Violets are blue_

_I want to kill people_

_People like you'_

It really was epic.

"Anyway," Fang continued. "I wanted to ask if you could read my new poem." Fang handed Angel his poem. On the top of the paper it read, **1 of 250 pages**.

"Um... Fang," Angel sounded unsure. She didn't want to disapoint Fang because unlike Iggy, he didn't threat her into things.

Fang looked up at her hopefully.

Angel sighed defeated. "Okay." She sighed. This was going to be a while.

_**Edward will die of stress**_

"Go." Esme gave permission to Edward to go see what Emmet wanted.

Edward wasted no time to go see what Emmet wanted. Emmet got very angry when he didn't get what he wanted in time.

When Edward reached Emmet's room, he peaked carefully inside. Emmet was sitting in front of his television screen - watching 1,000 ways to die. A guy had just been killed

" Ha!" Emmet chuckled. " Humans are stupid. Especially Bella. What a douche bag, falling and getting into trouble with mythical creatures."

Edward pretended to be angry at Emmet. But he actually agreed with him.

"What do you want, Emmet?" Edward asked him in a cold voice. _Please let it be something NORMAL. _

"Well Eddie, I just wanted to give you your mail.A letter named...Angel?"

"Doesn't ring a bell." Edward stated. Emmet flung him the letter. It read,

_Dear Edward Cullen, _

_Do not ask how I know this, BUT I know that you are a sparkly vampire, *chuckle* and that you are a mind reader. I'm that kid that caught you eating a rabbit. I am a winged bird-kid and I too am a mind reader. Unlike you though, I am much younger, and have better fashion sense. Where'd you get those clothes, at a teletubies convention? I'm nowhere near 100, *cough, gramps, cough*. And I'm much more evil! I've seen all of the __**Twilight **__movies *forced against my will by my sister, Nudge* and couldn't help but notice that you are a total push over! If you are tired of people treating you like dirt, like I at this very moment am being treated like, meet me at __**eht ecalp htiw eht ffuts! (read backwards) **__at 2 pm today. I have a plan that will take care of our problems! It may involve murder. See you then._

_From Angel Ride (soon too be Demon Ride) _

What the heck?

_**To be continued...**_

**Kill me if you want, I'm sure that you all hate writer's block which is exactly what I have. NOOO! Part 2 will be up ASAP.**


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